30 Days of Demanding the Change: Day 21

Contribute to demanding the change by posting how you have either demanded the change or inspired a change of heart.

You don’t have to look far to see people joke about rape.  Whether it is on television or seeing commentary through social media, making comparison or joking about rape is common.  When someone tells you a rape joke, how do you respond?  Below is a story I heard from two advocates on how they responded to someone joking about rape.  They moved beyond the common response of “It’s just a joke” and inspired a change of heart.

A few months ago, they were out with some friends.  Because these two advocates are fully aware of the “rules of conduct” for women when out, they brought their drinks with as they went to find the restroom.  Unfortunately, the restroom was located beyond where they could have beverages.  As they walked past a bouncer, the bouncer told them they had to leave their beverages unattended on a table next to him.  The two advocates paused and looked at each other.  The bouncer then decided to take this opportunity to make a joke about sexual violence.  He told them not to worry because he would not put a drug in their drink and then laughed.  Instead of remaining silent, the advocates took this opportunity to demand the change. They informed him that they work with survivors of sexual violence and his joke was not funny- it was harmful.  The bouncer realized his mistake and apologized.

Later in the evening, the bouncer approached these two advocates.  Not only did he apologize again for his behavior, but he also said that he realized how harmful his joke was and would no longer joke about sexual violence.  By choosing to take a moment to demand the change, these advocates also inspired a change of heart.

By sharing our stories, we can demand the change and by doing so – inspire a change of heart.  You can demand the change.  Share your stories with Demand the Change, Change of Heart to build momentum and inspire others to demand the change.


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