30 Days of Demanding the Change: Day 17

Spend today preventing the normalization of the term MILF in our culture.

A few weeks ago, I was having dinner with a few friends.  I overheard a male in the group refer to a mother across the room as a MILF.  I challenged his comment and our table engaged in a conversation about what it means when mothers are referred to as MILF’s, how often we hear this term as well as what type of messages this sends to people of all ages.

If this is a new term for you, MILF stands for “mothers I’d like to-“well-you know the rest.  This is a term directly out of porn culture.  In fact, in order to promote equality for all ages within the porn culture, there is also another term to refer to grandmothers – GILF.

This is a term women, particularly mothers, are supposed to take as a compliment.  Mainstream culture has defined this term to mean that mothers/women can still be considered desirable, attractive and sexy.  Why is it that the only way mothers/women can feel desirable, attractive or sexy is if they are sexually objectified?  This term literally means that their body is good enough to – once again, you know the rest.

Mothers are sexy.  Let’s honor motherhood for what it is – hard work.  Let’s Demand the Change and honor motherhood by celebrating the patience, passion, and resiliency that is needed to be a compassionate parent.  Let’s celebrate their skill in multitasking, mentoring, and teaching.  A mother’s value is more than whether or not a random male would have sex with her; value comes with creating a supportive, nurturing environment for young people to grow up feeling loved and valued.  Being referred to as a MILF is not an honor; it is being treating as a sexual object. It’s an insult.

My friend took back his comment and had a change of heart.  He realized that he was contributing to the normalization of sexual harm by sexually objectifying mothers.

You can also Demand the Change and inspire a Change of Heart by not supporting the term MILF.

You can demand the change AND inspire a change of heart by:

  • Action:  When you hear or see media sources supporting the term MILF, write to them.  Let them know it sexually objectifies women and ask them to stop.
  • Action: Speak up when you hear others say “it is no big deal,” “it is just for fun,” or “this is an opportunity for mothers to feel sexy”.
  • Post a statement on your social networking site about why you won’t support the term MILF being normalized in our culture.

You can demand the change to honor motherhood and not use it as another way to sexually exploit women.  Let’s inspire a change of heart.



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