Demand the Change and create a Change of Heart when you are put into a situation when one of your peers chooses to joke about sexual violence.
Demand the change when:
You’re in a bar when a friend decides to joke about looking for someone that is intoxicated to bring home and have sex with.
You have an opportunity to the demand the change of your friend. You can say, “Why are you looking to find someone that is vulnerable and drunk? You know, if a person is drunk, they cannot consent. That’s not sex –its sexual assault. Don’t joke about it”.
You can demand the change.
Inspire a Change of Heart when:
A group of guys are just having a good time and one says, “I can’t get a date, but at least I can get porn.” They all laugh. You can inspire a change of heart by speaking up. You can say, “You know, I used that joke before too. I thought it was really funny – until I started learning about sexual violence. Now it just doesn’t seem so funny”
You can inspire a change of heart.
Sexual violence is no joke. When we make light of vulnerability or materials that sexually objectify, degrade and are grounded in violence-we are sending a message that it is okay to treat people as sexual objects.
Chances are – there are other people in the group that do not agree. Choose to demand the change and say something. When we remain silent, it is assumed that the comment or joke is supported by everyone in the group. Choose to inspire a change of heart and make it clear you do not support jokes about sexual violence.